A Picky Observation: Bovine Illiteracy

For many years now, a well-known chicken chain restaurant has used cows in its advertising campaigns. The cows write messages on billboards to encourage potential customers to spare their lives by indulging in more poultry. (I’ll let you figure out the restaurant. Here’s a hint…they probably only sell right wings. Figured it out yet? Good for you. That one was easy. Don’t worry. There won’t be a quiz later.)

It doesn’t take a rocket surgeon to observe that almost all of the words on the billboards are completely misspelled.

I may be the only one, but I feel for those poor cows.

And not for the reasons you might think.

We all know what’s expected of a cow. We all know what the future holds for the typical cow.

Do we ever stop to think of what these cows really have the potential to become? I feel that we have failed the bovine community by not encouraging them to expect more of themselves than ending up on a skewer.

(What time is it? Gettin’ hungry here…)

Have you ever stopped to ask a cow what they think their future looks like? If you ask a cow about their future, they stare forlornly and continue chewing on the very feed that will ultimately lead to their demise. You might get the occasional “moo,” but they have not been given the tools to adequately express themselves.

Bottom line–a limited vocabulary limits your potential.

When it comes to functional literacy, they are challenged by dexterity–it’s true–but, as far as I know, not too many people have actually taken the time to help them navigate those obstacles. If they could write more easily, perhaps spelling skills would follow.

(I haven’t eaten dinner yet. I shouldn’t be writing this while I’m hungry. What to eat tonight…hmmm…)

We’re not doing a very good job of emphasizing their positive attributes, either. All too often, you hear stories about farm kids disrupting a cow’s peaceful slumber by pushing them over for sport. Cow tipping.

And let’s not even talk about the degradation that is cow patty bingo.

No, it’s time to do something. The next time you see a cow grazing the day away, go read them a story. Give them a paintbrush. You could even give them drumsticks so they can put their bells to use. They deserve a chance to become something other than an under-cooked outbreak of E.coli.

(Or become something other than a really, really, REALLY good rib-eye…with a baked potato on the side…with sour cream…)

You know what? Just forget I said anything. I’m gonna go fire up the grill.

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