A Sunday Satire: Vehicle Resting Comfortably At Home

Turkey Feather, Ark.–Local authorities in Turkey Feather have called off a Ford Alert issued after 37-year-old Gina Stockdriver called police about a lost pickup truck. According to the report, Stockdriver entered the Turkey Feather General Store at approximately 3:40 p.m. and returned to the parking lot at approximately 3:50 p.m. unable to locate her vehicle.

Police discovered the 1997 Ford F-150 in its original parking spot after an extensive three-hour ground search. It was determined that a recently-applied car mustache had rendered the vehicle unidentifiable by its owner.

“I bought the car mustache so I could get around town without anyone noticing me so much,” said Stockdriver, who claims she was tired of everyone in town knowing where she was going before she did.

The vehicle was released back to the owner after being observed and treated at a local garage.

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