My spam filter catches a lot of…waste.
I recently checked my junk email folder just to make sure something hadn’t slipped past me that I needed to see. I found something I wasn’t expecting.
I found dozens of messages about toilet paper.
Deal after deal for discounted toilet paper.
Naturally, it raised a couple of questions.
Question No. 1: Why?
Question No. 2: Why?
If you think about it, this is the definition of irony.
Email is an example of a way to distance oneself from the use of paper for communication. “Go paperless!” is the modern mantra. People the world over are trying to eliminate as much paper as possible in favor of electronic communication.
I’m kind of “old school” in a few ways. I prefer to hold real books, I like to buy actual CDs or vinyl albums, and I do most of my personal writing in a journal with a pen and–you guessed it–actual paper. And most people I know still prefer actual paper when it comes to the use of restroom facilities.
So, once I’d logged out of my email account, I estimated that I’d sifted through a few dozen pieces of electronic correspondence advertising…paper.
“Going paperless” is all well and good, but I guarantee nothing motivates a return to “old school” paper quite like realizing you’re down to the last roll of Charmin at 10:00 on a Sunday night.
In the event of a disaster, such as a flood, earthquake, tornado, or all-out nuclear holocaust, “going paperless” would be its own disaster that could break down the remainder of society. Think about it. If you’re one of the “lucky” survivors, you’d better hope you stocked up at one of those warehouse club stores…and hope the other survivors don’t find out about your stash.
Oh, the irony of realizing that you’ve just posted this ironic observation to a blog…
(Okay, so I’m a hypocrite. Just watch this little throwback to the 80s. He never went paperless and managed to do quite well.)